By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
