before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize