Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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