I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
