is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
