My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
