Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I love you.
Bad choice
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