I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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