ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
