He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
