just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
