i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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