The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
