So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You made out with two different species that night
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
That accounts for only three of the penises
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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