marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
In America we eat man semen.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
