If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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