Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize