Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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