Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
