we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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