She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize