I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am full of burrito and curiosity
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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