can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
