It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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