He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
