do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
