Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i just had sex bonerless
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize