Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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