so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
