You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
