Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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