The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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