he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
