my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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