you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
