dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
