evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
