I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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