my sisters under your porch take her home
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Farmville is her only friend.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
