OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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