are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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