i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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