I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
