Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
