"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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