Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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