U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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