Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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