I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize
