Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Sorry about my life...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
