i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
