You're earring is so big in my mouth
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
