I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
