So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize