After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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