just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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