Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize