That's when you crack a 10am beer
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
