Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
