My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
do herpes really smell.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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