Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
