dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The beer is more important than you right now.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
