were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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