dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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