u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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