The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
