Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
