dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my being single is dangerous.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
