For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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